Gone But Never Forgotten

Natalie is now 14 weeks old! I cant believe how fast the time has gone. Now I have to go back to work starting tomorrow. Part of me is ready to rejoin the rest of the world but another part of me doesnt want to leave my little girl at home. She will be in the excellent care of my brother as her ‘ma-nanny’ (male nanny) but its still hard to leave her at home.

Ive been thinking a lot about my first pregnancy and the little baby that wasnt meant to walk this earth. A year ago I got pregnant right before Natalie was conceived. It was 8 weeks when we lost that little one and about two weeks later when Natalie was first formed. Even though we lost him so early in the pregnancy, it doesnt make my little baby any less real to me. We both felt very strongly that he was a boy so we named him ‘Preston.’ Interestingly enough his due date was Natalie’s birth date. I will never celebrate Natalie’s birthday without thinking of my little Preston. He is in the hands of Jesus and I cant wait to meet him one day. Its kinda hard to think about in a way, I wish he had been able to have joined us here on earth but if he had Natalie would not have been born and I cannot imagine my world without her. I am totally in love with this little girl but I also love my son that is with Jesus. I will just have to wait till I enter the gates of heaven to meet my little man and have my entire family around me.


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