…in his hands.
Throughout my journey of the past three years one major theme has been the focus of my life. It is the same theme that will continue to be my focus until my last breathe…Trust God, in EVERYTHING!
I had thought that my journey really began in April 2008, but I was wrong. My story REALLY begins on December 31, 2006 with 5 seconds to midnight. The reason my story begins here, at such a particular instant, is because this is the moment I regained consciousness in the emergency room of St Luke’s Hospital in Jacksonville, Florida. This is the moment I realized I was at the lowest point of my life. I am not going to begin my story anew in this post. This is not really the purpose of my latest blog entry. My reasoning for bringing up this fact is due to the realization of the past couple of days that my story begins earlier than I had thought. I do not understand why I have had to walk such a difficult journey the past three years but I do know that I am to use these experiences to help others. I have been called to share my story with the world, especially as it pertains to my daughter’s struggles for survival between 4-5 months of age. This is a story I freely share whenever God opens a door. So far my testimony has been limited to one-on-one conversations with people God has brought across my path. However, I KNOW that one day I will tell my story to the world…in whatever way he sees fit.
The latest chapter of my journey does not pertain to the natural parts of life (i.e. death and the health of myself and family). This chapter has to do with the evil that lurks in our world today. You see, on Wednesday of last week someone came into our home and stole more than our personal affects, they stole our piece of mind and safety. We suddenly felt violated in our sanctuary–our home. Our home was the one place we could come and at least pretend that the rest of the world doesn’t exist for a few hours. Now, that sense of security and safety we had is gone. To add to our frustrations it seemed as if those we pay to protect us were more intersted in directing traffic downtown for a major football game than by taking our case seriously. We were able to give them solid information as to where our things had gone and who might have taken them (this information I will not go into detail about at the moment) and all they did was take another report and tell us no one was available to help us. I was angry and frustrated. I was seeing shades of red that had never been seen before. I know I have a proper Irish temper mixed in with my reddish-hair (no its not red-red!) but my anger of the last few days made my Irish temper look mild. However, God was able to help me keep my anger in check so that I did not really lash out at anyone. Sure I kicked a few chairs and punched my desk at work a few times but nothing like I have done in the past. I knew God was here, I knew I HAD to trust him, I knew I was not in control of this…but I was frustrated, more than I might have been in my entire life. Why wouldn’t the police help us, would we ever get our things back, when would I feel safe in our home again, would the thieves come back at some point? I was filled with questions. Its been hard to REALLY pray. When Ive been through other serious difficulties Ive found it hard to pray then too. All I could do was rely on the prayers of my family and friends and stand…stand, Stand, STAND!
Today was another day…another day I expected to be fighting with the police and hoping they would hurry up and act before all of my things were gone forever. However, God knew what was to happen today. The day is not yet over and nothing definite has happened yet. We still do not have ANY of our things back. But I’ve seen him begin to move…things have been happening and lots of phone calls made today. Lets just see what the afternoon and evening hold for us.
He’s got my whole world in HIS hands…and I know I’m safe as long as I stay right here!
*The rest of this story will be explained in detail as soon as I feel that I am free to tell it.