I’m beginning to wonder if I will have a new little baby in my arms by the end of the weekend. All day I have been experiencing mild to moderate contractions. They began about 10 minutes apart. After about two hours I called the doctor’s office since its Friday and they close at noon. I came in for a NST (non-stress test) and they checked me out. I’m not quite dilated 2 and not really effaced but there are definitely contractions about every 10 minutes or so. I was told to take it easy, stay off my feet and drink water by the weekend on call doctor who also happens to be a friend of mine. She told me that if I was to go into labor she would try to stop it at least at first. I was a little surprised by this since I’m almost 36 weeks but I guess she just wants to try to help me get to 37 weeks and considered full term. I came back to work and made sure I wrapped up all my loose ends, just in case. The contractions have continued, they have intensified a little bit and they are now about 8 minutes apart. I guess we’ll know what will happen over the next few hours. I’ve put everyone on standby that needs to be on standby. I’m debating about whether or not to tell my extended family (brothers, father-in-law, sisters-in-law) but I don’t want to get everyone overly excited too soon. Ideally she would hang out at least another week before she decides to arrive but if she’s like her big sister she’ll have her own agenda to attend to.
I am 11 days past the point in my last pregnancy where Natalie decided to make her quick and dramatic arrival. For me, I am in totally uncharted territory. However, I am SO over it. I am ready to be done being pregnant. I want this baby girl to be born already and I can start to feel a little more human again. I still haven’t reached my goal for this pregnancy quite yet though. I am only 35 weeks, 4 days right now. I want to at least get to 36 weeks (Sunday) and preferably 37 weeks (two Sundays from now).
This Sunday marks two months since my sister left us. There really isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her, miss her, and wish she was still here. She was so young. I know that God decided that her journey was complete but it sure left a hole in the rest of us. I have been keeping a journal through CaringBridge to help me process through my emotions as we learn to live without her here with us. I think its really helped. I know it will help me remember down the road.
I’m starting to slowly feel a little bit more prepared for the arrival of this little girl. I have a basket of baby clothes, towels, and blankets that need to be folded and put away and I’ll be caught up on all the clothing that I have at the moment (who knows how many more outfits I’m going to receive at my shower in a couple of weeks). The baby bottles are poised to be run through the dishwasher in the next couple of loads. I think I need at least another 3-4 small bottles but I don’t want to purchase any until the baby shower. Next, I need to get the boppy washed, the car seat unpacked, and have Thomas put the swing together. I guess I should pull out the breast pump and see if it still works. As of today, I’m 33 weeks, 1 day. I just need to keep her in, at minimum, for 2 weeks, 6 days.
Now to decide on a first name…or make Thomas agree with the one that I want to use.
I really should know better at this point in time but I am a hard-headed and stubborn individual. I knew as soon as I saw a reference to this song that it was going to make me cry. I knew that it would make me wish she was still here. I also knew that I am at work and work is not always the most appropriate place to look at something that is going to have an emotional impact on me. But still I watched the video and it did make me cry and it did make me wish that I could talk to her one more time.
I miss you Amber.